Why don’t you think you are deserving of love? You’ve internalized this belief for way too long, and whenever someone gets remotely close, your actions seem to drive them away. “We all have our demons,” you often share with others as you cope. But what the world doesn’t know is you lay in bed deep in your thoughts contemplating what it is you’ve been possessed with. You ponder over whether love is a made up concept that only you do not seem to understand, to fully grasp.
Over the years, you’ve successfully tucked away the pain associated with life lessons disguised as heartbreaks. It seems you’ve fully recovered but strangely enough, certain scars you stumble upon trigger unforgiving memories. Your resurfaced insecurities hunt you and constantly remind you of your complexities. It’s so clear your newfound person cannot seem to navigate what it is exactly that you actually search for. So in attempt to love you, they attempt to change you. You too attempt to change them.
Learning to love again is not a project so tuck away that ideology before your tears fail you again. The painful truth you are yet to embrace is that people do not change for people; they change for themselves. Let that sink in. The moment you try to change someone, the person automatically perceives you do not love them for who they are. It rather portrays that you’re in love with their potential or the version of themselves that is most befitting for you. Naturally, this fuels distaste and leads the relationship to wither just as quickly as it started.
It’s certainly not too late though- you can still learn to love again once you map out a vision for your next relationship. You can still learn to love again once you first learn to truly love yourself before dumping your issues on an innocent soul. And as you do love again, you must accept that your past does not define you, and the love you deserve will never question it. Your person awaits and anticipating perfection will cause you to miss this. If the shared purpose of life is to evolve towards perfection, what better way to evolve than with the one that you genuinely love? Happy Valentine’s Day.