The realization dawned on me when I caught myself growing bitter about not receiving credit for my extensive support. Upon stumbling upon the celebratory post, I regrettably assumed the role of a critic instead of a celebrant. The glaring problem was that the sacrifice it took to respond to my divine mandate subliminally came with expectations from a human being.
In the months that followed, shifts occurred in my actions without permission. The more I expected credit or acknowledgement, the quicker my drive for helping others seemingly derailed. The funny thing about expectations is that it masks itself as a well-deserved reward when in truth, it’s venom. Prior to it becoming deadly, it evolves into becoming an attitude of indifference. In other words, “whether you acknowledge my effort or not, I do not care anymore because never again!” It’s quite unfortunate that the moment you begin to lose your joy for serving others is precisely when you diminish your strength to keep going.
You see, the funny thing about cultivating an attitude of indifference is that sooner or later, others smell it on you. They see through the smoke and mirrors, and slowly refrain from reaching out moving forward. In hindsight, this scenario creates a well laid-out bed for loneliness to be tucked in. And with loneliness comes anger, depression, pain. The tears at the darkest hours slowly quenches the fire in your belly. Your halo fails to shine even brighter as your divine mandate gradually becomes meaningless. But that’s not your story…
Fam, as we navigate 2024, it’s my prayer that you become more secure in who you have been created to become. Once you can embrace and unlock this new level of awareness, you confidently clap for others because it does not diminish you. Instead, it draws you closer to God’s best for you. It positions you to keep digging deeper until you hit that water source, and eventually become the fountain. Now the more they draw from your well, regardless of your receipt of credit or not, the more God replenishes. Is there really a better reward than this?
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This message was originally shared on instagram here.